Showing posts with label #Hilarious. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #Hilarious. Show all posts

Thursday, January 31, 2019

BLOG TOUR: Catastrophe Queen by Emma Hart

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One hot mess. 

One hot boss. 

One too many hot encounters...


Catastrophe Queen, an all-new hilarious office romantic comedy from New York Times bestselling author Emma Hart is available now!

cq-cover3.3
It’s not you. It’s me.
No, seriously. It is me. Not only does my name literally mean “unfortunate,” but that’s the story of my life.
Everything I touch turns to cr*p. An apartment fire—that I swear I was not responsible for—means I’m living back at home with my s*x-mad parents. Yay, me!
Which is why I need my new job as personal assistant to Cameron Reid to get back on my feet. Three months in this job and I can move back out and, hopefully, remember to turn off my flat iron once in a while.
Ahem.
On paper, my job is easy. Make coffee. Book appointments. Keep everything in order.
Until I walk in on my boss, half-naked, wearing nothing but the kind of tiny white towel that dreams are made of.
Now, nothing is easy—except our mutual attraction. But he’s my boss, and you know what they say about mixing work and pleasure: unless you do p*rn, it’s just not worth it.
Or is it?
cq-nowlive1
Download your copy today!


Add to GoodReads: http://bit.ly/2CRIskS





No one... I repeat no one writes a vivid, awkward hot mess story the way Emma Hart does! She paints this picture in your minds-eye and you can just see all this hilarious, awkwardness happening. I tell ya, no one quite makes me laugh during a book like this woman does... Emma Hart, my RomCom Queen, I bow down to you! I so wish every single one of Emma Hart’s awkward and hilarious recent RomComs could be made into feature films! I see box office hits like “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” or “The Ugly Truth”! Seriously the film companies are missing out!

I pretty much always leave an Emma Hart feeling so much better about my insane family. No families could be more certifiable than the families in Hart’s books!! Emma Hart’s writing is perfectly on point t! She writes stories as if she’s watching life unfold in front of it and typing it up word for perfect word! Cameron and Mallory were vastly different but worked so well together. I really loved the slow burn to full of raging fire... these two were fantastic! And those secondary characters, well they occasionally stole the show! Emma Hart creates the best characters and all of these are quirky and just so fun!

I love stories that make me feel happy... and this book seriously gave me the weird creeper smile. I spent half of this book smiling and the other half laughing my ass off at all the antics from start to finish! Loved it hard!!

I received an ARC of this book with the hope that I would leave an Unbiased Opinion. I was not required to leave a review, positive or otherwise, and my opinions are just that... my opinions.
 





 

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Excerpt:



I took my coffee from the counter and scanned the room for an empty table. There wasn’t one, which killed my chances of wasting more time before I went home.

With a sigh, I checked my phone for the time and headed for the door. I was going to end up at home earlier than I’d planned, and I needed to check with my mom to make sure there wasn’t anything kinky happening somewhere in the house.

I’d considered bleaching my eyes enough in the last few weeks, thank you.

I was fairly sure I was safe because my grandfather and great aunt were coming to stay to celebrate Grandpa’s eightieth birthday. It was still a miracle my exhibitionist mother shared DNA with either of them. Unlike her, they were reserved, polite, and didn’t flash their flesh in the hopes of getting out of a speeding ticket.

Really, it was no wonder I was a walking disaster.

I pulled up my messages and clicked on my mom’s name. My thumb was poised to type the burning question of whether or not it was safe to come home when I glanced up.

And saw the car screeching to a stop, mere inches from me.

I screamed and stepped back. My heel caught on the curb, sending me toppling backward, and both my coffee and phone went flying. My cup slammed against the sidewalk, splattering hot liquid everywhere right as I managed to save my phone from certain death by concrete.

My heart was beating so fast it should have exploded, and adrenaline raced through my veins. I gripped my phone against me so tightly that the edges pressed painfully into my skin.

Oh my God.

I’d just almost died.

Maybe slightly dramatic, but I probably wasn’t far wrong. I didn’t even know I’d stepped into the road. When had that happened? Had I really been in that deep into my own little world that I hadn’t even checked for traffic?

Dear God.

How was I still alive?

The back door to the sleek, black car that somehow hadn’t run me over swung open. From my vantage position on the sidewalk, the first thing I saw was a pair of shiny, black shoes attached to legs wearing perfectly-pressed, light gray dress pants.

I dragged my gaze up from the feet, over the door of the perfectly clean car, and stared at the most beautiful man known to humankind.

Thick, dark, wavy hair covered his head, curling over his ears. Lashes the same dark shade of brown framed impossibly bright-blue eyes that regarded me with a mixture of shock and concern, and my ovaries about exploded when he rubbed a large hand over full pink lips and a stubbled, strong jaw.

“Miss—I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

Scrambling to my feet as he approached me, I tugged down the leg of my pants and grabbed my pursed. “Yes. I mean—it was my fault. I wasn’t paying attention. I’m sorry.”

He let go of the car door, showing broad shoulders and just how well that gray suit was tailored to him, and picked up my coffee cup. “All the same, I think we can share blame. Are you sure you’re not hurt?”

Just my dignity, and by this point, I was running low on it anyway.

I shifted, taking a step back. “I’m fine, really. Thank you.”

“Can I replace your coffee? Give you a ride anyway to apologize?” His expression was so earnest, his concern so genuine that I almost gave in.

Almost.

I had almost walked into the front of his car, then proceeded to embarrass myself in front of everyone on the street.

“No, no, it’s fine. I’m not far from home.” I clutched my phone and purse straps a little harder. “Again, thank you, but I should be going.”

He nodded as if he understood. “Uh, miss? Did you drop something there?”

My eyes followed the direction Mr. Dreamboat was pointing. On the side of the road, tucked against the curb, was a pair of white, cotton panties with flamingos on them.

My white, cotton panties with flamingos on them.

Swallowing, I met his bright eyes and shook my head. Dear God, please don’t let me blush. “No. I’ve never seen them before.” I backed up a little more. “Thank you for not running me over.”

Mr. Dreamboat grinned, his eyes brightening with his smile. “I’d never be able to forgive myself if I’d been responsible for running over someone as beautiful as you.” He glanced toward my panties, then winked at me.

There was no doubting that I was blushing this time around.

You could fry eggs on my cheeks.

So I did the only thing any self-respecting, twenty-five-year-old woman who’d just almost been run over, tripped, and dropped her dirty panties could do.

I ran.

But only like two blocks, because I was in heels, and I had the fitness levels of a hippo.

Then I grabbed a cab.


About Emma Hart 

Emma Hart is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of over thirty novels and has been translated into several different languages.


She is a mother, wife, lover of wine, Pink Goddess, and valiant rescuer of wild baby hedgehogs.


Emma prides herself on her realistic, snarky smut, with comebacks that would make a PMS-ing teenage girl proud.


Yes, really. She's that sarcastic.

emmahart

Connect with Emma

Stay up to date with Emma by joining her mailing list: https://www.emmahart.org/newsletter



Tuesday, January 29, 2019

RELEASE DAY: Catastrophe Queen by Emma Hart

CQ-BANNERThree-LIVE.jpg


One hot mess. 

One hot boss. 

One too many hot encounters...


Catastrophe Queen, an all-new hilarious office romantic comedy from New York Times bestselling author Emma Hart is available now!

CQ-cover3.3.jpg


It’s not you. It’s me.
No, seriously. It is me. Not only does my name literally mean “unfortunate,” but that’s the story of my life.
Everything I touch turns to cr*p. An apartment fire—that I swear I was not responsible for—means I’m living back at home with my s*x-mad parents. Yay, me!
Which is why I need my new job as personal assistant to Cameron Reid to get back on my feet. Three months in this job and I can move back out and, hopefully, remember to turn off my flat iron once in a while.
Ahem.
On paper, my job is easy. Make coffee. Book appointments. Keep everything in order.
Until I walk in on my boss, half-naked, wearing nothing but the kind of tiny white towel that dreams are made of.
Now, nothing is easy—except our mutual attraction. But he’s my boss, and you know what they say about mixing work and pleasure: unless you do p*rn, it’s just not worth it.
Or is it?


CQ-NOWLIVE1.jpg

Download your copy today!

Add to GoodReads: http://bit.ly/2CRIskS



No one... I repeat no one writes a vivid, awkward hot mess story the way Emma Hart does! She paints this picture in your minds-eye and you can just see all this hilarious, awkwardness happening. I tell ya, no one quite makes me laugh during a book like this woman does... Emma Hart, my RomCom Queen, I bow down to you! I so wish every single one of Emma Hart’s awkward and hilarious recent RomComs could be made into feature films! I see box office hits like “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” or “The Ugly Truth”! Seriously the film companies are missing out!

I pretty much always leave an Emma Hart feeling so much better about my insane family. No families could be more certifiable than the families in Hart’s books!! Emma Hart’s writing is perfectly on point t! She writes stories as if she’s watching life unfold in front of it and typing it up word for perfect word! Cameron and Mallory were vastly different but worked so well together. I really loved the slow burn to full of raging fire... these two were fantastic! And those secondary characters, well they occasionally stole the show! Emma Hart creates the best characters and all of these are quirky and just so fun!

I love stories that make me feel happy... and this book seriously gave me the weird creeper smile. I spent half of this book smiling and the other half laughing my ass off at all the antics from start to finish! Loved it hard!!

I received an ARC of this book with the hope that I would leave an Unbiased Opinion. I was not required to leave a review, positive or otherwise, and my opinions are just that... my opinions.
 








CQ-TEASERlive2.jpg

About Emma Hart 

Emma Hart is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of over thirty novels and has been translated into several different languages.



She is a mother, wife, lover of wine, Pink Goddess, and valiant rescuer of wild baby hedgehogs.

Emma prides herself on her realistic, snarky smut, with comebacks that would make a PMS-ing teenage girl proud.

Yes, really. She's that sarcastic.



EmmaHart.jpg

Connect with Emma
Stay up to date with Emma by joining her mailing list: https://www.emmahart.org/newsletter



Tuesday, January 23, 2018

RELEASE DAY: XO, Zach by Kendall Ryan




 
The first time we met was at a party.

Your ex arrived to show off the person he'd left you for last month, and you asked me to pretend to be your date.

I was more than happy to help. You were attractive, smart and witty--and that kiss we shared? It left me wanting you for days.

The second time we met was in my office on campus where we were both surprised to discover you were the new master’s degree student in poetry that I would be working with. You promised to be professional. I did no such thing.

The late nights and intense study sessions spent alongside you majorly throw me off my game. I want you, and I fight with myself daily over this fact.

I know I'm crass, that my sexual innuendos and dirty mouth annoy you, but I live for those two bright spots of color in your cheeks. If that's the only reaction I can get out of you, I'll gladly take it.

You hate Mondays so every Monday I slip an anonymous poem into your bag and your smile gets me through the week.

I think I'm falling for you, and I know it's wrong. I know that I'm only supposed to be your adviser and nothing more, but here's the thing. I think you're falling for me too.

xo, Zach



 PURCHASE LINKS:

Amazon | Amazon Paperback | iBooks | Nook | Kobo




 
EXCERPT:


"This is serious, Poppy. Will you promise?"

"What am I promising?" This man had a way of getting me to say things, to feel things, to admit things that I might not have otherwise. I wasn't sure if it was because he was older and wiser and that much more cunning at these types of discussions, or if it was just because being near him seemed to physically lower my inhibitions. He was like a walking shot of tequila.

"I need you to promise me that if anything physical happens between us—that it will be very consensual, and very sex-positive. I need you to understand that I will worship you and make you come So. Many. Fucking Times."

He annunciated those words so clearly and slowly, I felt them with every beat of my heart, every pulse of heat between my legs.

Oblivious to my hammering heart, Zach continued. "But I also need you to know that if I do or say anything you don't like, all you have to do is say so and everything will stop. Just the word no, Poppy. Use it and I promise to leave you alone."

"Leave me alone as in stop mentoring me, stop helping me in the program?"

His face was serious and he shook his head without even considering it. "I will never stop mentoring you, as long as you want it. Giving in to our attraction—or not—will never be a condition for my help. I want you to succeed, and it has nothing to do with how much I want you in my bed. Do you understand that?"

I felt myself nodding my head.

I knew what he was saying. Despite how aggressively Zach put his feelings on the subject of us out there—I knew he'd never betray my wishes.

"Okay," I murmured.

He considered me for a long moment, neither of us blinking.

"Why did you approach me that night at the party, Poppy. Did you find me attractive?"

Was he fucking serious?

Of course I find him attractive. Actually, attractive was too weak a word. I found him mesmerizing. Addictive. Enchanting. Impossible.

"I'm not saying I do, but if I wanted something to happen ..." I swallowed a wave of nerves and took a shallow breath as Zach's mouth curved into a grin.

"Something as in finding out how many times in a row I can make you come using my mouth, my hands, and my ..."

I held up one hand. "Yes. That. How would it work, isn't it, like, forbidden?"

God, why did the word forbidden make me feel even hotter?









ABOUT KENDALL RYAN:

 
A New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestselling author of more than two dozen titles, Kendall Ryan has sold over 1.5 million books and her books have been translated into several languages in countries around the world. She's a traditionally published author with Simon & Schuster and Harper Collins UK, as well as an independently published author. Since she first began self-publishing in 2012, she's appeared at #1 on Barnes & Noble and iBooks charts around the world. Her books have also appeared on the New York Times and USA Today bestseller lists more than three dozen times. Ryan has been featured in such publications as USA Today, Newsweek, and InTouch Magazine.

Visit her at: www.kendallryanbooks.com for the latest book news, and fun extras





So I LOVE Kendall Ryan!! She could write about the groceries she just purchased and how she’s planning on using each ingredient and I would devour it… pun totally intended! Ryan’s words are so smooth and fluid that I get completely caught up in her world. I loved every single word in XO, Zach! This was a fantastic read that went so quickly! XO, Zach is packed full of humor, passion, sexiness, emotion, and that fun awkwardness we all know and love!

So while I totally fell for Zack and Poppy and their slow and intense burn lit my soul on fire. I found myself wanting more of the secondary characters. Those characters are absolutely hilarious and totally take over, at times, for me. Zach’s mother, goodness, I need her in my life! That nosy neighbor made me seriously laugh out loud on several occasions. She was a complete hoot and I adored the hell right out of her! I love how she has not one single personal boundary and just has no brain to mouth filter. If she thinks it… out it comes! 

The laughter was totally needed in XO, Zack because Kendall Ryan made Poppy and Zach work a little harder for their HEA. Be still my heart!! I feel like I laughed a little harder with this book than I have in any other Kendall Ryan book. She outdid herself in the RomCom area of this book.  I know I’ve leaned a bit heavily on the humor but that isn’t the only area this book shines. It is incredibly sweet and heartwarming. I love the tension between Poppy and Zach. I love the heat. It’s sexy and swoonable!

I received an ARC of this book with the hope that I will leave an Unbiased Opinion. I was not required to leave a review, positive or otherwise, and my opinions are just that... my opinions.